Stand by Your Man? Maybe. Maybe Not!

This piece should probably be written by a woman, but a slew of revelations concerning the arrogant escapades of unfaithful, high profile men has riled me to a point where I find myself thinking that the smitten wives should do three things: forgive their husbands, dump them and move on with their lives. Now before you cry ‘foul”, consider the fact that forgiving them and then dumping them are not at odds with each other. Forgiveness benefits the offended more than the offender because it releases bitterness, anger and resentment. Forgiveness is healthy and mandated by Scripture. But forgiveness does not mean freedom from consequences. And frankly, who could be more deserving of consequences like pain, rejection and betrayal than pathetic, perfidious, narcissistic  horndogs like these adulterers?

Frankly a “man” who can father a love-child with another woman while his wife of three decades is a cancer patient should be dumped. A “man” that, after being married for twenty years, is caught in a one-year affair, declares that the other woman is his soul mate and whines that he’ll try to fall back in love with his wife should be dumped. A “man” and father of five that has sex with another woman on a restaurant table, pays $3,000 for her abortion and then refers to the incident as a mere “indiscretion” should be dumped.

I’m not suggesting that one spouse should automatically dump the other over matters of infidelity . But nor do I believe that the offended spouse should automatically be expected by the offender or by a social norm to suck it up and learn to live with their partner’s betrayal. On a personal note, my wife has informed me that if I ever emulate the actions of these creeps that I could count on her standing behind me–with a loaded shotgun!

It’s not my place to judge these men. However, agreeing with what the Scriptures condemn as wrong—in this case adultery and more—is merely affirming a truth. In one sense I admire the sleazebag’s wives for “standing by their man”. Yet, I also believe that you teach people how to treat you and that these “men”, and others like them, don’t deserve the women that supported them, birthed and raised their children and in many cases, sacrificed and subordinated their own dreams and aspirations to their husband’s ambitions.

Ladies, if you decide to stay the course, I hope it works out for you. But living the rest of your life immersed in suspicion and doubt and questioning where you went wrong, what you did wrong or what’s wrong with you, can be a slow march to misery. I will take the liberty of giving you the benefit of the doubt and tell you that you didn’t go wrong, you didn’t do anything deserving of this and there is nothing wrong with you. So move on! You can do better! And since he doesn’t like to wear his pants, take the shirt off his back on the way out!

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